singslikeagirl | WRITING SAMPLE #2 | For mckinleyrewind (Reply)

I have decided I am not above military-style sabotage on one Rachel Berry. I know for a fact I am not the only person this side of the equator who is getting increasingly more frustrated as the weeks progress of her completely and utterly irritating consistency of assuming she should be Solo Queen of the Universe. There should only be one Queen in Glee Club, and that's me, of course. Do I want a crown? Yes, I do, and I would look way better in one than Rachel would. Just like I look way better in plaid than she does. And stripes, for that matter. Oh hell, I would look better in a burlap sack than Rachel would. She has a voice. Yes, we got that memo. But seriously, people, you have heard her voice when she's not singing. Some days I go home with a toothache and a distinct sense that one eardrum has has a minor stroke. What is Finn thinking in dating her? If he hits his twenties without grey hair growing in unusual places and an odd twitch in his eyeball, it will be a sheer miracle.

So, people? Military sabotage? Are we all on board? I would suggest paintball as a starting point, but this is silk YSL. I could always be a not-so-independent mediator. I'd happily stand on the sidelines and encourage you all shower her with colourful balls of paint with intense repetition. Evidently bitching Mr Schu out is going to get us nowhere for him to see sense. It's time to take matters into our own hands. Carpe Diem and all that. If it worked for Robin Williams... even if he does have an inhuman amount of body hair. Really, Mr Williams, organic wax is your friend.

Word Count | 295